none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize