My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
