fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
