Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
