There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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