Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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