Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
