I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
