K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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