Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
