My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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