Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize