so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
