So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
