how can u be prego again
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
