this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
