Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
