one might say we're banned from that church
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
