I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
