You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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