Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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