I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
