After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
