Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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