Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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