Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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