I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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