So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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