Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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