You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
