actually, I'm a sock model
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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