So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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