Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
