My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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