New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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