Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
