I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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