I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
