Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize