No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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