I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
