Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
