im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
