I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
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