Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
