They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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