I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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