But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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