I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
