So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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