Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
and you fell through a lawn chair
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
