It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
