she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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