Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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