You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
