vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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