you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
